Annette Goody

I’m running this October for the 1 in 40 Australians on the autism spectrum.

This October I will be running 120km for people on the Autism Spectrum. To raise awareness for parents to talk to their kids about kindness around people that are different. Different but no less. To treat them with the respect they deserve. To think about actions and words that are done and spoken in seconds, and then forgotten for them, but weigh on the families for weeks and years to come, and make a load that is already heavy unbearable.

Our daughter is 9 years old. Her name is Leilani, we call her Lani for short, she has global developmental delay and despite of very basic words can not communicate much. Her diagnosis is ASD3. She is integrated at a mainstream school but with full-time support and adjusted curriculum. She has stimming behaviours that might seem odd to others, but is something she needs, to calm down. She squeeks and squeals when it is not appropriate, but sometimes can’t help it. She needs supervision at most times and I can’t just drop her off to a friends house for a playdate. In fact playdates and sleepovers how must 9 yo would have it don’t exist for us. If you see us for an hour or two on good days you might think - this doesn’t look too hard - but it is.

It is almost like a different culture that people who don’t live it don’t understand. You would not believe what effort goes into everyday things behind closed doors. It is tiring and draining and takes so much out of parents and siblings.

On most days I find that enough to deal with. I wish we wouldn’t have to deal with all the unkindness on top of that. I see kids snickering, laughing and not wanting  to sit next to her like she would have some sort of contagious disease. It is heart breaking and it is killing me slowly from the inside.

Some people say ‘ they are just kids’ ‘ they don’t know better’. But to be honest I think this is not good enough. On every other occasion people tell you how smart kids are and how they soak everything up like sponges. It  sometimes is as easy as having a conversation with them.

I have seen kids in her classroom being so endlessly kind and endlessly trying - not getting much back. So what does that mean - some kids have kindness in them and some not? I do not expect every kid to put in a 100% - but it is a long way from being unkind to just do nothing. So ‘nothing’ - just let her be - is good enough for me too.

(English is not my first language - so I apologize for typos)

Kindness changes everything.